If you’re in your late 40s or early 50s and wondering whether you’ve completely lost your mind, let me assure you, you probably haven’t. You’re probably just in menopause.
Nobody prepared me for this.
Not my mother. Not my doctors. Not health class. Not the stack of women’s magazines that promised to reveal “what every woman should know.”
Apparently the plan was for me to figure it out through trial, error, and the occasional emotional breakdown in the Costco parking lot while talking to my sister on the phone.
The brain fog nobody mentions
The hot flashes, I expected those. Forgetting my own thoughts mid sentence, not so much.
I’ll be having a perfectly normal conversation and suddenly the word I’m looking for vanishes into another dimension. It’s gone. Not hiding. Not almost there. Gone.
Sometimes I stand there pointing at an object like a confused contestant on a game show, minus the prizes. “You know… the thing. The thing that does the thing.” Nothing. My brain has clocked out for lunch.
“Just try meditation”
Then there are the well meant comments.
“It’s normal.” “Every woman goes through it.” “Try meditation.”
To which I’d like to respond: yeah, like I need to sit quietly with my racing thoughts right now. My brain is already running like a hamster on a squeaky wheel. Let’s get the hamster off the wheel first, then we’ll talk about meditation.
Why are we acting like suffering is a requirement?
Finding a treatment that actually fit
One of my biggest frustrations was discovering how little individualized treatment exists for women.
I tried the estrogen patch for a month, twice, at two different points. Both times left me bloated and gassy. The second round, the higher dose of estrogen also gave me knee pain. Not exactly the glowing transformation I’d been promised.
I switched to a topical cream with estrogen and testosterone. Insurance didn’t cover it, and it didn’t fully cover me either. It helped with hot flashes. That’s it. I was still dealing with brain fog, night sweats, and mild depression.
That’s when I switched doctors and started doing real research into menopause and HRT. I’ve had a hysterectomy, so I knew I didn’t need progesterone, just estrogen and testosterone. I found a local HRT specialist and told her what I’d tried and what I wanted.
She’d clearly walked in with a game plan before I said a word, and it didn’t seem to matter what I told her. She prescribed the patch, added progesterone, and told me I didn’t need testosterone at all. Another solution built for everyone and nobody. I left her office feeling defeated and unheard, again.
While researching, I came across a company called Defy Medical. They handle HRT through Teladoc style appointments. You submit your labs, they go over the results with you, and they formulate the hormones specifically for your body.
It was amazing. Someone finally heard me.
I now get estradiol and testosterone shipped to me and give myself a shot twice a week. I feel great.
(Quick disclaimer: Defy Medical has no idea I’m writing this and isn’t endorsing me. This is just what worked for my body. Your results might look nothing like mine, and that’s kind of the point.)
That doesn’t mean menopause disappeared. I still occasionally forget words. I still open the refrigerator and stare into it like the answers to life’s greatest mysteries are hidden behind the mayonnaise.
But now I sleep through the night. I don’t have hot flashes anymore. And that alone feels like winning the lottery.
What menopause taught me
Every woman over 50 deserves a medal. And a nap. And a lot more research dollars devoted to women’s hormones.
We’ve made real advances in healthcare, yet so many women still end up piecing menopause together through internet searches, Facebook groups, and conversations with friends.
The good news is that the conversation is changing. Women are talking. Sharing information. Comparing notes. Helping each other.
That’s why I wanted to write this. If one woman reads it and realizes she’s not losing her mind, it was worth it.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find… you know… the thing. The thing that does the thing.
